I made a promise
When I was sick, I spent a lot of time awake. 22 hours a day for five years, to be exact. I was in so much pain that I couldn’t sleep. All I could do was walk the house at night like a skinny ghost, sobbing, rocking back and forth, and from time to time, passing out. In those years, I made a promise: If I made it out of alive, I would help others suffering from health issues. Beyond the physical pain, the experience of living in what felt like a dying body was scary, lonely, and often hopeless. Once I went into remission, I had no idea how I would give back so I enrolled in a health coaching course (I had done Martha Becks Life Coaching Course 8 years prior… foreshadowing?) and got busy writing my book, “Your Tastebuds are A**holes.” But still, this didn’t feel like enough, leading me to enroll in The Bauman College for my nutrition degree.
In school, I discovered my vocation. YAY! But the real work of letting go had just begun. Going back to school to get certified was the fun part. I loved learning about the science of nutrition and confirming all of the reasons why it had helped me go into remission naturally. I did just about three years of education in total, all the while working a full-time job and being a mother of two. Yet still, letting go of my career and my security blanket of 23 years was the real work. It was like teaching a kid who loves sucking their thumb how to let it go. It didn’t go smoothly, and I kept going back again and again, saying yes to opportunities even when my soul was saying no.
My life has taught me that the hard days are the days that force the most significant internal growth, growth needed for the road ahead. Scared shitless, of course, but there was no turning back; I needed to be all in. For a little while, I was splitting my weeks between my old career and You’re Great, and it quickly became clear that the days I was coaching were my favorite days. On top of that, these were the days that I learned, was inspired by the depth and power of the human spirit.
Each person I coach works so hard for their health. It’s an honor to do this work, to coach and be a support system for those seeking better health. Looking back on my life, I often coached others to make better choices. It’s somewhat ironic that it took a horrible battle with Crohn’s to force my awareness of this truth and to affirm the power of nutrition to myself. Sorry, mom and dad. You were right.
It wasn’t easy to embrace starting over or starting at the bottom, but I found this humble state of being was where I needed to be. At first, the time between clients didn’t suit my normal state of stimulation, but if I am entirely honest with myself, it was also a reparation to my soul. Since the age of 14, I have worked hard, pushing myself with all my strength to create a hub of safety and security. Not being busy all the time has forced me to stand in my discomfort and reevaluate my self-worth. I suppose coming from a low-income family, I just figured money would equal happiness because clearly being without did not. But here I was, coaching with all my heart, making very little money, and being the happiest I had ever been in my life. It was incredibly freeing to find out that having a real purpose, along with an open mind and a big heart, equaled happiness.
What starting over has taught me is that not all money is equal, and financial security is fantastic—but not at the cost of your soul. The money I earn now means so much more to me than any money I have previously made. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for my past career and appreciate the money I’ve made, but what I am earning now is fulfilling and purposeful.
I’ve started over many times in my life. It’s scary, but the best things in life usually are. Are you scared of making a significant change to do what you love? Or deal with your health issues head-on? I hear you. Take your time to come to terms with it, because it’s like learning to stop sucking your thumb. It’s not easy; it takes a commitment to the unknown, and overcoming internal and external obstacles. But at some point, you need to jump all in if you want to create real change. Easy? Nope. Worth it? Yes, I believe so. Today my coaching practice is thriving, and you know what? I’m the happiest I’ve ever been because I am 100% doing what I love.
Remember, YOU’RE GREAT. You are capable of greatness.